A word from Nelson’s Director of Communications:
Nelson Metz is a bear. Not a Teddy bear, though. NEVER call him that – he’s so much more – and if he has his way he will be President. Of everywhere. And Pope. He likes the outfit.
Nelson lives in Brumath, Alsace, near his normal place of work – the public toilets just across the road – his employees are always ready to serve you there. Just knock three times and ask for Herman.
He is, as his mother calls him, a real business bear. Most of this business leads to him being collected from the local Prefect de Police on a regular basis. It also involves his family sitting around with lots of paracetemol and blue crayons. You can work the rest out for yourself.
Nelson is not without ambition. President, King, Pope, Nelson wants to be them all. And why not? Ambition is good. Greed is better. Pocket money is EVEN better. You don’t have to do anything for pocket money. Except wake up at 6.00 in the morning and kick your parents until they give it to you.
What you see with Nelson is what you get: a small, bad tempered furry animal that evil smells and wants everything he sees.
If it isn’t sharks in the bathroom (Nelson’s Aquarium) it’s a tank. If you have a tank you can flatten the cars in the street so others can park on top of them. You see, Nelson does give something back to the community.
Of course all this success has a price – and it’s something everybody else has to pay: €200.00. People often ask “Why €200.00?” The answer is simple: he can’t count and it’s the only number he knows. Stupid bear.
So there he is: this small furry animal that has total self confidence in his abilities and ambitions – even if he ends up in the fridge for being bad – is everything you want to be – but would not dare to be. Which is really the reason this despotic little bear exists in the first place…
Vote Nelson Metz!